The Library

Clarity beats control. Every time.

Essay about understanding hirarchies and universal rules and success through personal coaching

Universal Rules is a reminder that nature, physics, and dynamics do not negotiate opinions. Those who understand how power and instinct truly operate do not lead through force – but through clarity and an understanding of universal principles. Whether in business, relationships, or a wolf pack – the rules are the same.“

It is fascinating how we instinctively understand certain dynamics and rules in life. We never question how a piece of bacon moves from the fridge to the table, a wolf pack hunts with precision, how in the intimate realm of BDSM, we intuitively grasp the balance of surrender and control, pleasure and pain, or how bees and flowers go peacefully about their way every day.

Yet, when it comes to daily life or business, we ignore these fundamental universal rules and basic principles of dynamics and hierarchy. Why? Perhaps it’s human arrogance at its peak, believing we’ve evolved beyond such principles. Why do we believe we can bypass physics, biology, and natural laws, and still expect harmony? As if we assume bacon teleports itself to the table, wolves use sticky notes to coordinate their hunt, or a blindfolded submissive is left to figure out the rules on their own, knocking over furniture, and flowers are sending invitations for pollination appointments. But the truth is, these dynamics, physics, and natural hierarchies govern everything  – even our professional interactions. The sooner we accept this, the more efficient, harmonious, and fulfilling our connections and success become.

Picture this: a blindfolded partner, completely surrendered, tied up. It is an act of surrender, dominance, and balance. It’s been agreed that there will be discipline – spanking, perhaps  – but only in a way that both find pleasurable. The goal is clear: shared ecstasy.

In this moment, everything hinges on balance, where instincts and intuition work together, rather than ruining the party. The dominant carefully balances control with care, ensuring the submissive feels safe yet exhilarated, guiding the experience to maximize pleasure without overstepping boundaries. Success comes when each person embraces their role with clarity and respect.

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Now here’s the catch: Nobody doubts this dynamic –  it’s intuitive and logical. It’s unspoken but understood that anything breaking trust or clarity, like pushing too far or forgetting boundaries, kills the mood instantly. And if that happens, nobody enjoys anything. The success of this interaction hinges on one thing: everyone knowing and respecting their roles while focusing on the shared goal. It’s simple, natural, and undeniably effective.

It’s a perfect example of clarity in roles and mutual consent, all working together to achieve a shared goal. And yet, when we move into a meeting room or everyday life, we somehow think we can abandon these principles and expect success. Why?

Now, let’s step into the wild and look at a wolf pack and its biology. When wolves hunt, there’s no room for confusion or power struggles. They don’t sit around arguing over who should chase the prey or how many votes the deer gets before dinner. The alpha male leads the charge, protecting the pack. Beside him is the alpha female, who plays an equally crucial role  –  maintaining order within the pack and ensuring cooperation as well as strategy (yes, strategy + female = natural).

The other members? They follow the alpha pair completely. Each wolf knows its role: flankers, chasers, and the final attackers, all working in sync to bring down their prey. All hunters follow, and together they achieve success because everyone understands their role. Nobody questions the alpha’s authority or tries to negotiate the plan mid-hunt because of a new, enlightening novel invention. Why? Because clarity of roles and the earned trust in leadership are the only ways they all get to eat. Imagine what happens if a wolf suddenly decides to ignore this natural hierarchy, or if an alpha folds, or a female wolf forgets to strategize the prey, just to challenge the alpha in the middle of a hunt. Chaos ensues, the pack scatters, the prey escapes, and the harmony collapses. But when everyone plays their part, success is inevitable. Each member contributes, and the reward is shared  –  a full belly for all.

Now, let’s take a stroll into the world of nature. Consider the relationship between bees and flowers, a partnership straight out of nature’s playbook. The bees collect nectar to feed their hive while pollinating the flowers in the process. No confusion, no drama –  just a natural balance where everyone plays their part. It’s a perfect example of give-and-take: the bees don’t overthink their role, and the flowers aren’t out here writing contracts. Beneath a forest floor lies an even more fascinating system: the ‘Wood Wide Web.’ Trees and plants connect through fungal networks, sharing nutrients, water, and even chatter about potential threats.

Now picture this: what if the bees decided to hoard all the nectar, stop pollination, and the trees stopped sharing? The flowers would wither, the forest would suffer, and nature’s harmony would collapse. Thankfully, nature doesn’t operate on selfishness  –  it thrives on balance, mutual benefit, no shortcuts. It’s simple, it’s natural, a little buzzy, and adorable.

Now let’s dive into the realm of science. Consider Newton’s laws of motion –  specifically, the third law: For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. In essence, when one force acts on an object, it generates a force of equal magnitude in the opposite direction. This principle governs interactions everywhere, from the way objects move to how forces balance each other in nature and daily life.

Imagine this: a huge, heavy piece of bacon sitting comfortably in the fridge. It is destined for greatness –  your breakfast plate.

But how does it get to the countertop for preparation in the first place? Imagine lifting that heavy piece by piercing it with a single fork. Two forces are now at play: the upward force of your hand and gravity pulling it down. Thickness, weight, and texture decide the outcome. Too much force –  and the bacon is too heavy. It rips, leaving you hungry and annoyed. Too little – and the slice is too thin or too slippery to stay on the fork. It falls off, hits the floor, and suddenly you’re cleaning bacon grease off the floor. Yes, we all know that deeply tragic moment of grieving for our favorite piece lying on the floor. Success comes only when forces are balanced and coordinated.

See, with living beings, we can play the “what if” game.
 What if someone changes their mind?
 What if behavior shifts?
 What if rules bend?

And this, my friends, is the very core of universal rules.

In science, there is no “what if the rules change.”
Gravity will not negotiate.
It will not care or let ego run the show.

It simply is.

The molecules in the bacon do not decide whether to rip or not.
There is no intention.
No opinion.

Cause meets condition  –  and the result follows. Follow those laws, and success is no longer random.

These laws explain why wolf packs hunt effectively and why BDSM dynamics work intuitively. Success, in anything, lies in understanding and respecting natural rules: clear roles and a balance of power. The dominant’s actions, discipline, care, and leadership must elicit an equal and opposite reaction of surrender and participation from the submissive. In the wolf pack, the alpha’s strength and clarity build the pack’s trust and cooperation. It’s all about balance: When we work against these rules, chaos ensues. When we embrace them, we create harmony. And yes, even bacon tastes better when it’s handled with care, and we should be happy about a little woodland gossip in nature.

So why do we fight these principles in business or, for that matter, in our personal lives? The truth is, leadership – whether in a meeting room, a wolf pack, or a relationship –  thrives on these fundamental rules. The strongest leaders don’t dominate (sorry, Darth Vader); they guide with clarity and earn trust through action! And trust, after all, is just another word for knowing enough, but we’ll come to that at a later point. The best teams, partnerships, or even marriages succeed when everyone knows their role and respects the balance of power.

It’s funny how we humans like to think we’ve transcended the natural rules of dynamics. We invent flowcharts to outdo wolves, form a committee to decide who is responsible for the bacon transfer, and pretend leadership is a democracy of endless opinions. Yet, when it comes to hunting, survival, love, or other essential things, we intuitively understand that clarity, coherence, hierarchy, and balance are non-negotiable. In business, these rules create success. In relationships, they create harmony. And no, you can’t reinvent these dynamics. You might just end up like the person who crushed the bacon or scared off the deer.

Maybe it’s time to stop trying to rewrite the fundamental laws of the universe and instead embrace better interdependence between humans and everything we touch in our lives. Act with care and meaning. The universe – nature – already perfected the playbook! And let’s be honest: if the deer had the chance, it might just turn around, laugh at our arrogance, and remind us that the universe’s rules aren’t up for negotiation. They’ve been working flawlessly since the dawn of time.